Most deal makers know how to make time to work for them. It’s not just the skills and talents, it’s the reputation that matters. The world of instant gratification says “Give to me right now.” For those who want the quick deal they may have to force it. The truth of trust comes with delayed gratification. Trust is a currency isn’t a new idea, it’s just not talked about enough. What is typically missed is the idea of trust withdrawals.
You build relationships over time from your actions or inactions. Others learn to trust you or not trust you based upon your activity. When things go sideways with trust, it happens quickly. You can be in good graces one moment and out the other. You are always being watched for congruency. You are being tested at this moment and you may not even know it.
Sometimes money, fame and glory take the front seat. Trust takes years and multiple evolutions to build. It may take seconds to lose. You deposit trust for a decade, you withdraw it all in a moment. Sometimes it isn’t the money in the deal that unwinds the action, it’s the lack of trust. Every time you enter a new deal you bring your past trust account balance.
Trust behaves like an asset
When you were a kid you probably made a few bucks. You may have put that earned money in an account. Over time you had growth and appreciation. Trust can grow the same way. You have a compound effect with trust.
This may sound like a basic concept. When you take a look at the Greats in any category, they focus on the basics. Any other topic could have been addressed, why start here? True Deal Makers know the secret: Your trust currency matters and it follows you. The opposite is true as well.
Some deals are closed easier simply because of who is involved. It doesn’t mean there are not obstacles in the deal, they are just viewed differently.
Some people will say you can’t see the appreciation of trust like a bank account. This idea isn’t true as you can look back at past deals. Either way you look at it you are making deposits or withdrawals.
How the balance gets built
You build trust slowly over time. You build when it’s boring. You build trust in the moments when you think that nobody is watching. The hard truth is you are always under the microscope and scrutiny.
There are three easy trust deposit types:
- You do what you said—This explicitly means you honor your word
- You tell the truth when it costs you—Sometimes you lose and how you act in a loss can be more important than how you act in a win
- You show up when it’s inconvenient—There are times where you show up and it’s hard to be there.
One of the first important lessons to learn is: The first deal may be the big one or a small one. No matter what it’s the test. The trust quiz is where it starts. Time is the ingredient you can’t fake or rush when it comes to your trust bank account.
The test—knowing and unknowing
It’s human nature to test you before they trust you. Always. Some know they’re doing it. Most don’t. Trust can be a “gut” instinct. The trust test is rarely the big moment. It’s the small one you almost miss but know it is there.
Those who are watching are not checking if you’re perfect. The watchers are checking to see if you’re consistent. Some of these interactions are easy to spot while others are buried in conversations.
The unknowing trust test
You can and will be tested in multiple ways in a single conversation or action. What you will find is most deal makers cycle through several types of tests. You will find a few listed here, this isn’t the whole list. You can add your own “tests” here as well or build a hybrid.
- The Trustworthy Story—You are given “inside information” that is true or untrue. The real test is who you will tell or not tell.
- The Throwaway Question—A casual ask. A detail they mention once. They know there is a right answer as well as a wrong one. They also know when you are hedging your bets and trying to straddle the two.
- The Gossip Trap—A story is told and is a “one off situation to you alone”. The end goal is to see if you spill the beans to someone.
- The Slip Up—This can be with information, services and/or money. What is being looked for is that you clearly call out the idea and tell them, or not.
- The Promise—You are given a task with a deadline. Your role is to follow through.
- The Corners Cut—You may be given the opportunity to cut corners on quality, build, specs, payouts, commissions and even promises made to others.
- The Unethical Request—You may be asked to do something you know is wrong morally, ethically or legally. The test is the speed of your response as well as the quality of it.
Over time deal makers run their trust tests on autopilot. If they have a student or understudy they may share the details of their playbook. What is common is the “truth” of a bad deal is shared with a team or teams whether it goes through or not.
In some big deals these tests are laid out explicitly before a meeting. You may consider this a trap, this is really a way to validate concerns and expose weakness.
You can go to almost any business lunch meeting where new people are introduced and see any of these plays in the playbook.
How to counter trust tests
Your answer to the counter may vary based upon your beliefs and strategy. Where one person may call out the situation explicitly others may offer a covert answer to save face. One of the best activities you can work through is to take a look at the previous list and determine what you would do. You may also look at this list and think back on the last few deals you have been tested on.
Some day you may end up on a lunch meeting or a conference call that is really your first test. Even if you are seasoned these plays may be made against you. You probably have run one or more of these plays as well.
The small mistakes are glaring under the microscope and you are judged quickly. Either your trust bank account has a balance or it has an overdraft. When you do win it’s the invite to the next stage. Sometimes the way you find out you failed is you don’t get a call back, a referral or an invite to the next deal. The rejection is the hardest when you know why you failed the test.
It’s your role and responsibility to stop waiting for the moment that matters. Every moment is the test and that is the truth of the situation. In a digital age anyone can be looked up. Smoke and mirrors can vanish quickly.
How trust compounds
You will find that trusted people close faster. There is less friction. There are fewer objections and there are shorter sales cycles. When you are new this seems like there is a lubricant to the deal. As you grow into deal making this may just feel normal.
When you have trust you can charge more, and/or ask for more. Price stops being the main conversation piece. You may make the decision to not charge more or modify terms as this may be a test from the other side to see how you deal.
What’s more, referrals are the dividend. People send you the ones they care about. They share they trust you and that you will take care of them. Actions that lead to your trust may be quiet and boring.
The compounding of deal making is invisible until you compare your year to someone who made other decisions.
Trust in business
Jay Abraham says: “Someone always has to go first in trust.” You may have to be the person who makes the first deposit. The other side may not reciprocate, and you have your first answer.
You may find that the trust tests start with the way you treat the staff and teams of others. Trust may come from how you show up and when you show up on time.
Trust in relationships
The longer you have held trust there are higher stakes. The trust account is bigger and the withdrawal is faster. The trust deposits look identical: keep your word, tell the truth, show up. The crash looks identical too. Years of trust gone in a moment… a vanish.
It matters who you bring into a deal. You are underwriting their trust when they show up on your Team. When someone is new to you and your processes you will want to check their balance most closely. Whether it is business or personal the Team you work with has a trust account as well.
How you protect the investment
To maintain and build trust, treat every interaction as a deposit or a withdrawal—there’s no neutral. You are either moving forwards or backwards with trust.
The three trust guardrails:
- Never promise what you can’t deliver
- Deliver the bad news yourself
- Audit and correct your own behavior before someone else does.
You may choose to break up with those who lack trustworthiness. You can come right out and let someone know they broke your trust. You may take this action face to face, over the phone, email or text. When it happens it’s best for you to close the chapter with finality and break it off.
What you can do when you lose trust
One of the hardest actions in life for some people is to ask for forgiveness. We all make mistakes. The other side may decide to forgive you with a condition, it will be rebuilt slowly. The same is true when others break your trust, you may choose a slow path back. The other side may decide to never trust you. No matter what happens you have the opportunity to course correct.
Trust the long game
You have an obligation professionally to build trust. Famous copywriter Jon Benson says: “It’s not your fault you didn’t know, now that you do it’s your responsibility.” In other words you can’t un-ring the bell when it comes to trust.
Speed isn’t the best qualifier when you are looking at trust except for when it comes to people asking if you can be trusted. The deal makers who win long term aren’t the fastest. They’re the ones who never drained the account. They are the ones who consistently make deposits.
You get to choose how your trust account flows to the positive or the negative.
